Tai Chi in the Moonlight, may make you fall in love

I've certainly had a strange couple of days. Since the power has been out in my apartment, I've been in a mood, dazed, confused, bored. Last night Flora sensed I was about to lose it, and asked me to join her tai chi lesson at 8:00. I was curious about this, because it gets too dark to read here a little before 7:00, and too dark to see anything in my apartment by 8:00. So I went to the park with the dragon statues and waited. Slowly, people began to drift into the park in the moonlight, and stand silently watching the teacher move slowly over the stones. It was like watching birds watching the horizon. Then when Flora showed up, there was a flurry of activity. She introduced me to her teacher and all sorts of people. They all wanted me to learn tai chi to lose weight. It was hilarious. I have found that interacting with people, even when we can't speak, is my favorite thing about living here, because without words it becomes a game for the body. Which facial expression, what kind of smile, what kind of stance, when to laugh, when to giggle, when to blush (or make the body movements equivalent to blushing), when to widen the eyes and raise the eyebrows. Widening the eyes and raising the eyebrows I have found to be invaluable, as that action can convey that you are impressed by someone's actions or status, amazed at their accomplishments, surprised by something odd or meaningful that happened to them, listening more attentively when they seem to be speaking about something more important.... the list is almost endless. But for more brief or casual interactions, I've found that just smiling incessantly, being kind and confident, and having large quantities of humor, especially the ability to laugh at yourself, is all you really need. Similarly, reading these things on a person's face as they speak to you in meaningless tones and variations is also valuable. I have learned very quickly how to tell when someone is making fun of me, because Flora is no help as a translator when that happens. I can tell when she is trying to cover up that someone has said something off-color about me because she takes an extra pause before translating, and looks at me and then at the sky. She is transparent in this way- she does this little set of actions every single time, and I can read it as clearly as any words on a page.

So she introduced me to her teacher and he was very friendly, he told me I needed to learn tai chi to make my body strong and lose weight. I nodded profusely and smiled (eyes wide and eyebrows lifted). She introduced me to her friend, who had driven for hours that day just to come and study with her teacher, who was also a teacher in his own town, and he told me I needed to learn tai chi to lose weight and be healthy inside. He said that Flora used to be fat, but she has lost weight in the year she has done tai chi. A young man came up to me because he wanted to practice his English, and told me I should learn tai chi because it "makes me so quiet, quiet". I liked his way of speaking, his ernest way of describing things. He told me, "My oral English is so unpracticed, for I have lived for seven years where there is no one to talk to". It sounded so dramatic. He was also the first person here to try and teach me Chinese words. He was trying to teach me to pronounce "tai chi" correctly, but it was difficult for me, because the Chinese have a way of making the "ch" sound in "chi" like ch, z, sh, and a soft g all at the same time. In short, everyone I met wanted me to study tai chi, and all of them seemed very personally interested in me losing weight, which I thought was quite funny. I laughed and laughed, and told all of them that I could stand to lose the "tire around my waist" as Flora called it. She wants me to start studying with her teacher, and I would like to very much. It wasn't just watching them move like birds that made me so enthralled, it was the whole ambience of the evening.

Last night was the first time I've been out of my apartment after dark since I got here, and I couldn't help thinking how stupid that was. The campus was so quiet, and the thick, hanging heat of the day was slightly dissipated, made more refreshing by a sudden cool breeze. The sound of the traffic was less audible, and the sound of frogs and crickets and birds was so loud it seemed to make the ground shake. And, the biggest treasure of all: in the dark no one stared at me. Once my eyes adjusted to the moonlight, I could see everything like it was made of bone, but faces were hard to make out. And I knew that no one was staring at me, and that made me feel peaceful. I sat for hours in the dark and watched the students move in unison with the teacher like cranes, and like stinging insects, first slow, then hard, with more power. I thought I would never be able to make my body do those things. I was in love, to say the least.

When I got home tonight it was very dark, and I was too tired to sleep. There was a knock on my door that terrified me, so late at night in the dark. It was two women who brought me four tiny candles. I thanked them, and touched their hands, and smiled in the dark. I wasn't expecting such kindness, I suddenly felt a happiness that felt like sadness. I love this place, and the humor and kindess everyone has shown me. This is the perfect place for me to practice my craft, communicating efficiently. It's like starting from the bottom up. I have always communicated myself, and understood the communications of others, in writing and speaking, and that's what I consider my one talent. Body language isn't beyond my grasp, either, but here it has been elevated to the only form of communication in most of my interactions.

When I was a sophomore in college, I wanted to take a vow of silence for this exact reason. To learn to read a situation differently. To understand people without speaking to them. To see what we could say to each other, without saying anything at all. I was, of course, unsuccessful in this endeavor, as I am a naturally chatty person. That's why now I am happy to have the temptation taken away for me. I like this, I appreciate it. It makes me grateful to think of the things I have learned to see in people's faces, what I have learned by listening to the tones of voices without hearing the words, what I have read in people's shoulders and hands, how I have learned to make my face and body into a message, from me to you, something to be understood beyond speech.