I make my slings and arrows out of strings and feathers

This week and last I have been tumbling down the rabbit hole, so to speak. Every day I have a new class, which means I've already taught over a thousand students. Every new face almost instantly becomes an endearing memory, and I do not know when I will see it again. I am told every day that my students loved me, loved the class, don't want it to end. I have an enormous shock value, which stuns them into attention. Once I have their attention, I keep it by putting on a show that lasts between 40 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the class. I am left exhausted and weak. Yesterday after I got home from my class I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, and my vision went blurry when I reached my arm up for the electric kettle. It is moments like this when I realize that I am still just a child, after all, playing house, and I have not discovered my own limits. I gave myself a time-out, and took a nap.

I have decided to throw myself into learning Chinese, if only to be able to order at restaurants. I asked my boyfriend to send me some books on learning to speak Mandarin, and I hope I can start learning soon. Next week I start my cooking lessons. They want to teach me simple things, but I am going to ask to learn how to make dumplings. I will not leave China without learning how to make dumplings! They're my favorite thing so far. I went back to Weifang with Flora the other day and she and I had lunch there. It was a tiny, dirty shop. There were small wooden stools to sit on. The tables were a heavy, rough wood, and there were cloves of garlic sitting on them and tiny bowls of spices. We ate little pancakes baked in an open oven, stuffed with pork, green onions, and mushrooms. These were the most delicious thing I have tasted here. The pancakes were served with a kind of tofu soup and you ate them with raw garlic. Everybody ate the same meal: Two pancakes, a big bowl of tofu soup, and cloves of garlic, and that was something I found really charming. It was such a rustic kind of setting, in the middle of Weifang City. I would also love to learn to make those, but Flora said that making that sort of pancake takes a lot of training and time.

But the occasions I eat real food, cooked, containing vegetables and meat, are pretty rare. I mostly subsist on ramen and (now that my sister sent me a care package) candy. For this reason, I will be accepting every invitation to dinner that I receive! Today the fourth grade teacher at the primary school invited me to her home on Saturday. Her English name is Susan. I will take a moment to say that I hate the idea of having an "English name". Like, because English speakers have trouble remembering/pronouncing Chinese names, we should all just change our names and answer to new ones. There is something so.... I don't know, colonial about it. But again, it's their decision, because perhaps they just hate the sound of their name butchered by people who can't pronounce it. In any case, it really is, sadly, easier to remeber their English names, and even when I try to remember Chinese names, I will often only come up with English ones. So Susan, the fourth grade teacher, is having me over to her house. This is almost certain to be an uncomfortable endeavor, as her son and husband don't speak English, she barely does, and I have no knowledge of Chinese. I foresee a lot of sitting around awkwardly happening. I accepted because I am hoping she will be feeding me! Henceforth, no matter how tired I am, I will be accepting all similar invitations in the same hopes. I keep getting invited to go hiking as well. I am not much on physical exercise, especially when I'm around people I'm not completely comfortable with. I am somewhat rotund, quite slow, and inexcusably yet undeniably a pack-a-day smoker. However, for the opportunity to see the mountains of Qingdao, I will accept an invitation to go hiking with total strangers. Maybe they will order me some more of those pancakes stuffed with pork. In any case, this town is driving me nuts. There's no where to walk but up and down the same streets. It is not the same as London, where I was fearless. There wasn't a place in the whole city I feared to go, because their public transportation was truly exceptional. From anywhere in the city, I could find my way back to Glasslyn Road in under half an hour. It really inspires one to be adventurous. But here, I could get lost and not find my way back for hours, if at all. I don't have a phone, or any phone numbers even if I did. I don't have a map, I can't speak Chinese, I can't ask directions, I don't understand the bus system, etc. And what I miss the most, spending a perfect afternoon with a stranger. Something I cherished in London, to spend the afternoon with someone, have a bite to eat, take a walk, have a talk, and never know their name. Something I can't do here.

On another note, my class today got totally out of hand! It was a mob scene. It happened because I couldn't get this particular class to talk very much. They were very shy. So I started giving everyone a piece of candy who raised their hand to answer questions. Those fourth-graders turned to animals before my eyes! They rushed me and pinned me against the blackboard, I literally couldn't move. I should have gotten strict and yelled at them, but I was too busy laughing. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, and I haven't done that in months and months. I started pushing them, screaming, "Sit down, sit down!" But the whole time I was laughing, and they didn't take me seriously. Susan was laughing also, and totally paralyzed about what to do. I looked up and she had run away. So I put the candy in my pocket and started tickling all of them and chased them to their seats. A little offense, you could say, settled them right down. If I am ever cornered by my students again, and unable to move, I will simply have to start chasing them. It's instincutal for kids, I think, to play chase. That got them all in their seats, and when Susan returned everyone was sitting, giggling quietly. I really liked all the kids running up to me, I love the chaos, the yelling. I also love figuring things out as I go along, and getting them under control. Every day is an adventure, and what more could I possibly ask for?

In my classes with the older girls, they have all heard about my games. As soon as I pull out the green scarf, they all start laughing and clapping. The other classes must have been talking about the game where you get to blindfold the teacher and hide the chalk. The new game I've been playing is wonderful for getting them talking. I put question words in a bag (who, what, where, when, why, how) and they draw a word. They then have to ask me a question beginning with that word. I expected them to ask simple questions, arbitrary, that I wasn't really supposed to answer. But instead they all formed really complicated questions about me and my life. What I like to do, what I like to eat, about my friends and family. They asked, "Who is your best friend?" And I said, "My boyfriend. My boyfriend is my best friend." Well, that really got them going. They asked to see pictures, they talked about what he was like, what his name is, how we met, where he's from, if we were going to get married, what I liked about him, how he feels with me being in China. I swear, every question after that one was about my boyfriend. They loved it, that I had a personal life. I said, "The thing I like most about my boyfriend is his pretty smile!" And they all passed around my phone with pictures and all agreed that he had a very pretty smile, and that was their favorite thing about him also. It was so wonderful to have them all talking. Because of their curiosity, they forced themselves to try and communicate complex thoughts. It was wonderful. Everyone got so much practice speaking English today. They also loved asking me questions about China. Where I live, how I spend my free time. They even wanted to know trivial little things like what time I wake up in the mornings, and what time I got to sleep at night, what kinds of food I eat. Many of them wanted to cook for me. It was really great. I have sort of been leaning towards preferring the children. I can be a lot more silly and playful, and a lot more physical, and it has sometimes been more fun. But the last two days I have really appreciated the older students, too, because they can talk more, and understand me better when I talk. They are also more interested in me as a person. When I tell my students I am 21, they all get so excited, because then they know that we're the same age. Invariably, two or three of them will ask if I want to go out together, get something to eat or go shopping. I have been asked for my phone number about a hundred times. Sadly, I have no phone, so I can't make plans with anyone. I would love to go out with my students and really get to know them. I'm sure it would also be better for them to practice speaking outside of the classroom, one on one. The news on the "English Corner" is that I only do it once a week at the military school across the road. This is too bad, because many of my students at the health school have been asking me constantly about "English Corner, are you teaching English Corner, when are you teaching English Corner, can I help with English Corner?" So I have been thinking that I will do an English Corner at this school outside of my regular hours, on my own time. I haven't wanted to commit to that, because some days when I'm done teaching I think I'm going to pass out from exhaustion. I am hoping to spend another week teaching and see if I get used to it or not.

A Minor Annoyance: I would like to take a moment to complain about a minor annoyance in my day. In China everyone must boil the water to make it safe to drink, and then put it in these large canisters, like an oversize thermos. This keeps the water boiling hot all day, and so the teachers all drink boiling water. Boiling water just doesn't quench my thirst in that way you want it to, and I frequently need to take a sip of water, as my throat gets dry. So every night I put a glass of water in the fridge to get cold for the next morning when I teach. And every morning, the teacher will slip up while I'm busy with the students and go pour out my cold water and fill it with hot water. I am sure this is done with the kindest and most thoughtful of intentions, but the truth is it's a total bother. So I have taken to carrying my water with me, or keeping an eye on it at all times. It's become a sort of game. I refuse to show distaste for the kindness of others, so when I get handed a glass of boiling water in 90 degree weather, I must smile appreciatively and drink it.