I have only been here for four or five days, and I have been quarantined to my apartment, trapped, unable to flee!! But I am happy, nonetheless, which was the biggest surprise to me of all, because I anticipated loneliness, alienation, fear, discomfort, and sadness, but I really did not imagine that I would spend all day laughing and smiling, thinking of my good luck. And if you are a cynic, like I am, you may have thought, like I have, that this mood shall pass away and I will be, once again, the miserable little ball of fury that I have been in the past. But I've already learned so much here, in such a short time, and the first thing that I learned (or rather relearned, as I am struck by the truth of this so often) is that you can really never guess what you will experience and how it will make you feel in your journeys. I guess this is why I have always been able to swallow the fear and doubt I may feel and make the leap anyway. Because it may be difficult, and it may be terrible, but, by god, it may be wonderful, too.
Another thing I have recently learned, is that I have an intuitive grasp of Microsoft Windows. I discovered this because the computer I was given has a Chinese version of Windows, so I am working from memory alone. And icons, that is another thing I have learned. Icons should be everywhere, they are so useful! I went to the supermarket for dish liquid and laundry detergent, and found it by way of pictures. The bottles of cleaning products have pictures of sparkling clean dishes, clothes, and kitchen counter tops, depending on their cleaning purpose. The hot chocolate is differentiated from the instant coffee by a picture of chocolate squares and a picture of coffee beans. I honestly would never have known the difference otherwise. I have also learned that the internet in China is blocked, like parental blocks, except the parent is the government and the child is the population of China. I was very perturbed, because I can't access the blog that I set up just for my stay in China. So that blog is just floating around in the universe somewhere, useless. In any case, this works just as well, though it isn't as fancy. I was surprised that I can't access YouTube from China, or any popular blog site, or even Facebook, but I can access MySpace. I mean, you would think as far as subverting culture goes, MySpace would be more guilty than Facebook. But I digress. Here are some of the things I have learned so far:
The brooms are different here. They are small and less efficient. When I saw the broom I thought it was a joke. I have seen a broom like this before-- it is used decoratively by some people in the States. It is not entirely useless, as it did help me to remove the large pieces of plaster falling from my apartment walls and ceiling. Flora, who is the woman responsible for me here, told me that she would bring me a new broom. I was so relieved, I thought, of course, this fake broom is just for looks or something. Lo and behold, she brings me another of the exact same broom, only with more bristles. I thanked her politely and hid my skepticism.
There is landscaping all over the place. I have seen some of the most beautiful landscaping here. It's so simple and delicate, and so smart. There are these tables and little barrels for stools carved out of heavy, rough stone. I fantasize about sitting there and playing cards. That's ridiculous, I'm sure. I went to a park where there are two enormous statues made of peach-colored stone. Each statue is four dragons with an archway between them. They are massive and I loved them. Flora told me that those statues are over 500 years old, and that they were built during the Minh dynasty. This park is in the middle of an ugly, dirty place, and it is one of the only spots of grass I have seen so far. I thought is was a strange place to build such statues, and then I realized it was really just a beastly place to build a city, because the statues were here first. In the mornings older women come and do tai chi beneath the statues, wearing white clothes and black slippers. It's all very foreign-looking, and it makes me feel very out of touch with myself. I realize that I will never see something so large and elegant and man-made that is over 500 years old in the States, because they are not even that old. I realize that I will never see anything like it in the world, and it makes me want to look hard, and for a long time.
The lamp posts have large globes shaped like flower buds. I walked by a lamp post at dusk and saw the sun setting behind it, and there was a birdcage with a canary inside hanging from it. The birdcage was black, the canary was yellow, the sunset was many shades of pink. It was one of the more beautiful things I have ever seen in my life, and I thought that if I left China tomorrow, I would already have evened my losses. There are bird cages hanging from the windows of people's apartments at different times throughout the day, and they are all interesting.
I get stared at a lot. Not discreetly, either, and I can't help but stare back and smile, because that's just how I am, so it makes for a strange walk down the street. Today I went to the supermarket for food and water, and I came back to the school when all of the students were getting out of class. They streamed by me in a massive group, and I swear, every single one of them (at least a hundred) did double-takes. I have been getting a lot of double-takes, and in my head I try to pretend it's because I'm famous. I pretend I'm a kind of pop icon in China, new on the scene, fresh and a little off-beat, like Lady Gaga. But this charade is hard to keep up sometimes, and all of these students stared, and then turned around and nudged their friends, and talked about me in Chinese, and laughed, and were very entertained. It is odd for me to be a novelty, because I have spent so much time being so average. Courting invisibility, is what I have always done, blending in as best I can, swooping under the radar as much as possible. Well, that is now impossible.
A carton of cigarettes is 50 yuan. That translates to about $7. I had thought that perhaps I would try to quit smoking while I was here, but then I was quarantined to my apartment, and had nothing to do all day but smoke. So smoke I did, and read, and watch Disney's Dinosaurs for hours on end, and look out the window at the people passing on the street. And mostly smoke. And how can you quit smoking when cigarettes are so cheap and delightful? The packaging is hilarious- very bright colors and sparkles and pictures. I am certain they must be trying to entice children, because a pack of cigarettes here looks like a children's toy.
Lastly, the water smells funny, and is packed with minerals. When I boil it, this plaque is created on the bottom of the pot, like rust, kind of orange-y, and it chips off into the water when I pour it. It is somewhat disgusting, but I am taking everything in stride.
Well, those are a few things that I have learned, that I am very happy to know. There are more, but in a way there are too many to tell. Some things I'm sure I have just absorbed unconsciously into myself and wouldn't even know how to describe.
Tomorrow I teach my first class, and I am very nervous and excited.
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